there are so many times in life when i'm confronted with something that always makes me feel glad or grateful that... I'm me! Human Biology... there are so many people with abnormalcies that i'm so so glad i don't have and i can't imagine living with. and here i am thinking that i can barely stand those huge bags underneath my eyes

and there's club meetings. im never the one who has no one to talk to. just in school, i'm never the one who just moved here from another country and can't really speak the language and is having trouble making friends. in church, i'm never the one that sits in the back of the room, says nothing, and talks to no one because no one talks to him/her. i should be so thankful.

and maybe i am...

in fact i should be even more grateful because he put me in the perfect positions to help all of these people. i'm an officer in two clubs, i'm a neighbor or someone who just moved from a foreign country, i'm the girls caretaking co-chair at church, and i have so many good friends... but sometimes i feel burdened with an obligation to help. and even though i think i am obligated simply because i know they are suffering, sometimes i get upset because i feel like i don't have time to just do whatever i want to do.

but i DO want to help these people. The question is, am i qualified to and am i able to?

who knows. we'll see. God supposedly reveals all in time. i'm going to see if that's true.

somewhere i have never travelled

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond any experience,your eyes have their silence: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, or which i cannot touch because they are too near your slightest look easily will unclose me though i have closed myself as fingers, you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens (touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose or if your wish be to close me,i and my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly, as when the heart of this flower imagines the snow carefully everywhere descending; nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals the power of your intense fragility:whose texture compels me with the color of its countries, rendering death and forever with each breathing (i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens;only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses) nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands ee cummings

i think i have read this poem at least 50 times and i still have no idea what it is talking about.

yet somehow it manages to sound so profound...

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just wanna say, thank you so much all you ppl who came and made my bday so precious. :) It was amazing!

things have changed a lot since middle school. then again, maybe they haven't. maybe i'm just seeing things that were always there, but i've just never seen them before.